bepeu:

what i learned in high school

• you can pass some classes by being friends with the teacher 
• there is more than one kind of cool
• if you write just random things on some homework then you may still get some point but the teacher will pull you aside because she is worried about you
• not all food is edible
• who cares

m-oonblaze:

everyone’s getting into relationships and you know what im getting? some more food brb

krabwatch:

finally an option that fits me

kanyewesticle:

The only talent I have is boobs

ohshititsgreg:

If your name is Frank and you don’t use the opportunity to say “let me be frank with you” every day then you are truly dead to me

singergurl91:

moonflowerlights:

If you’re having a bad day, just remember that the Raptor sounds from Jurassic Park were actually a recording of turtles having sex

Also, just remember that Tom Hiddleston can make that noise on command…

bedquest:

dear fucking tumblr

this is a fucking bumblebee

this is a fucking bee

this is a fucking hornet

this is a fucking wasp

as you can fucking see the longer their legs are and the less fuzzy they are is equivalent to how fucking evil they fucking are

• Me: *sits in towel for 6 months after showering*

epic-humor:

benoistmelissas:DO

 NOT

SPEAK

TO ME

WHEN

I HAVE

HEADPHONES

ON

JESUS

CHRIST

ambassador-of-anguish:

shouldertappingghosts:

If I was a famous author I would publish a book with ten different endings which all went to print with varying degrees of rarity, but not tell the fans about it so that I could watch their confusion as they disagree over how the story ended. Then when they figured it out I would ‘come clean’, telling them that I had released eleven alternate endings and watch them panic again as they all try to find the last ending.

This is perfect.

rolan-pard:

“every time you post something online the entire world sees it”

yeah then explain to me why my post doesn’t have more notes